Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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