ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
