if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I FOUND THE LEGS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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