im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
