I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She bit a glass in half.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize