with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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