dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
