idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize