so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
