I accidentally burped into my bong.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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