I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
