So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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