Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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