Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize