He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
