Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
