Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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