I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
