If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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