So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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