is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
