Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
