I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
God I need to hump something, right now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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