How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
