TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize