you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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