your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
