Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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