people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
