even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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