You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
