i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
