I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
