Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
