If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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