Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
