everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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