Umm I'm too high to move.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
