Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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