Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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