White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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