pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
