i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
