Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
barbara walters just said penis...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize