I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
