honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm at about main and main street
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
