this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
birth control should be required to get into college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
