do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
