IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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