The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
please come you make the beer taste better
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
