okay pat passed out under dana's car
she woke up with a sticky ear
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
