that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
