Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
