I wish life had little blips of pornography
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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