I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
