Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
