Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
