I am puke
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
