After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
