your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize