Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
