I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
